- Jamaica Kincaid often writes about the longing for maternal love and a childish bewilderment with the adult world.
- She seems to hold resentment toward her mother and her homeland.
- Kincaid is outspoken.
- Girl's voice only appears twice within an enormous list of "how-to's"
- Some of the instructions involve social mores. One big question you might tackle is whether or not you think these mores are essential.
In addition to your own correlation, please relate/synthesize the following into a paragraph of at least 50 words:
1) Kincaid's unforgiving rage at both her mother and homeland
and
2) "Everything passes through the self"
35 comments:
Jamaica Kincaid- "Girl"
Jamaica was born in 1949 and is still alive today. She was born in Antigua, and now she lives in Vermont where she continues to write and teach. She was an only child until she was 9 years old. When she moved to the States to work for her family, she didn't send money back home to her family and she worked for the New Yorker.
She was born as Elaine Potter Richardson, but in 1973 she changed her name to what it is now.
Since the whole story consists of a list of "how to's", there is no need to pick a certain passage to correlate with. Kincaid possesses this unforgiving rage for her mother and homeland that some of us might possesses sometime in our life. We could always possess it, or never, or just sometimes. Throughout the story Kincaid's mother is telling her the right way to do several things, but Kincaid thinks that if you do everything by being your true self you will earn more respect and will not be considered fake. Kincaid is not interested in writing in the pursuit of happiness. Its kind of like she is telling us to do everything our way and to be ourself as we go through life. Everyone can probably relate to their parents telling them how to do things at least once in their life, but some parents allow their children to figure things out in life on their own. But yes, I can somewhat relate to Kincaid, because after I hear my mother tell me a million times how to do things I get tired of it. I get this feeling of being tied down and not learning from my mistakes, and what is the point of life if you are not learning and accomplishing tasks on your own.
Title: "Girl"
Author: Jamaica Kincaid (1949- )
Jamaica Kincaid was born on the Caribbean island of Antigua. She came to America at the age of 17 and now lives and teaches in Bennington, Vermont. Born as Elaine Porter Richardson, she changed her name to Jamaica Kincaid in 1973. This name change was to enable her to be free from who she used to be. Unfortunately, we see it did not work, which is illustrated in the underlying bitterness of her work. Kincaid's writing has an autobiographical tone that strongly reflects both her problems with her mother and island roots with its rhythmical language that almost seems to sing. In 1997, Kincaid received the Anisfield Wolf Book Award honoring writing that exposes racism and explores human diversity.
The entire contents of the story "Girl" is a how-to list given by her mother to an adolescent Kincaid. There is an obvious bitter tone to the piece, showing reference to the unforgiving rage she feels toward her mother. In the story, however, the girl speaks on twice because at this time in her life, Kincaid was still trying to regain her mother's approval. As an adult, the control exhibited by her mother lead to a great deal of resentment and later in life she realized the best way to live was be true to one's self and not worry about what others think. The reason behind Jamaica Kincaid's rage toward her mother is due to "abandoning" her for her younger brother;this "abandonment" was also the reason Kincaid felt animosity toward her homeland.
At some point in time everyone has had an authority figure tell them how to do something. This is usually done in their best interest, but not always perceived that way. Resentment, bitterness, even hatred can result if done the act is done repeatedly.
Kincaid who was born in 1949 in Antiaua to a home where she wanted maternal love. Her family was black and jewish and were under the colonial rule of Britian and was where she received her education. She worked in New York, at age 17, for a family as a servent and then studied photography at the New School for Social Research. She also attended Franconia College in New Hampshire before changing her name from Elaine Cynthia Potter Richardson.
The mother seems to make a list of things to do in a certain situation and this seems to force the girl to grow up and do things that she is not ready to do. When a parent tells a kid that they have to do things someone else’s way then it can make the kid lose their childhood if they constantly hear that they aren’t acting right. The social norms that are discussed in the story like how to smile to someone you don’t like is something that most people can deal with. There have been people who you just don’t want to deal with and every time they come around you have to smile and hide what you actually think. This leads to the rage that she has toward her mother. She was only used to work to pay for her brothers school. She feels like the mother doesn’t love her but also comes to realize that the mother loves her and is only doing what’s best for her.
The authors name is Jamaica Kincaid although she was born Elaine Potter Richardson in Antigua in May of 1949. "Wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color clothes on Tuesday and put them on the clothesline to dry;". This passage is the beginning passage of an excessive telling of the social mores from a Mother to a daughter. It is almost an obsessive delivery, or memory, written here that should allegedly help a girl to do, or not do, these things, and to not become the slut this Mother is obviously sure this girl is going to become. This whole passage applies to many in society; women you had proper and strict, overbearing Mothers who a saying for everything in life the girl was ever to do. I'd say that this story was a tragedy, because it is so sad that, even as an adult, the writer is still saddled with these mores in her head and how she still feels about them. These social mores are not all essential; everyone must live and learn themselves. My 50 words paragraph: The writer does have a lot of rage at her Mother and at her homeland for helping to produce her Mother and herself. On the other hand, we must all at some point realize that we are our own people and not everything we have done or decided is our Mothers or our homelands fault. We need to realize that at a certain maturity/age, we make our decisions, not our Mother. "Everything passes through the self!". I would agree with that although everything that passes through does not always pass through our conscious self; a lot of it goes into our subconscious where we may recall it or not.
Title: " Girl"
Author: Jamaica Kincaid
Jamaica Kincaid was born to Elaine Potter Richardson on May 25, 1949. She was the oldest out of three children who all lived in Bennington, Vermont with their mother. She was greatly inspired through much of her lifetime to write about the events which happened around her home and with her and her mother. Two short stories sthat she wrote where; "Girl", and "Wingless".
The author Jamaica Kincaid uses figurative language, and a series of demand s in the form of how to's and how not to's. She uses this form of writting in the story "Girl" to reflect the mothers and the daughters life struggles and social mores. These few lines are a good example of where in the story this is used. "This is how you sweep a corner; This is how you sweep a whole house; This is how you sweep a whole yard; This is how you smile at someone you don't like very much; This is how you smile to someone you like completely; This is how you set the table for tea." (Kincaid), Has probably written these lines becausde she is trying to describe what she has learned from livingt with her mother as ayoung girl while being turned into a lady of her age,or she is expressing a situation which she is describing about someone elses mother or daughter whom she has seen or lived near. And she has learned from her mistakes.
Through these instructive how to do's lists the author tries to explain how her life was chsnged by the ways her mother taught her to be more like a lady of her age.
" This is how to make good medicine for a cold; This is how to make good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomesds a child; This is how to catch afish; This is how to throw back afish you didn't really want; This is how to bully a man; This is how a man Bullies you; This is how to love a man."(Kincaid) These lines show a presence of the way Kincaid felt twoards her mother and society. The first line about the medicine and child shows us how she felt about an abortion and the loss of a child during birth, but she whishes that medicine could have solved the problem. Now she realizes that its just too late to fix that and is remorsefull about the death. She uses the next line about the fish to show how she feels towards the place she lives and also shows us about her own social mores and superstitious beliefs. The third line shows us how she feels about the true morality of pthe people she encountered in society or around where she lived.
Title: "Girl"
Author: "Jamaica Kincaid
Jamaica Kincaid was born on the Carribean island of Antigua in 1949 which are English colonies. This influences Kincaid's writing in that she is always writing not only about her own mother but "Mother England" as well. She would eventually leave Antigua to move to New York where she got a professional start in her writing career. She would also change her name from Elaine Potter Richardson to Jamaica Kincaid.
Basic Passage:
"This is how you smile to someone you don't like too much;this is how you smile to someone you don't like at all; this is how you smile to someone you like completely" This passage sums up the whole idea behind "Girl". Throughout the short story, her mother is giving her instructions on how she should behave. These instructions can be made universal as well. In every culture there are guidelines by which one should live in order to be politically and morally correct. The set of instructions her mother is giving her is yet another attempt in setting those guidelines. I can relate to this passage because my mother is always worried about maintaining a good impression on others. She has always given me advice on how to act in certain situations in order to keep a positive image.
The cause of human suffering is that the daughter in the story is not able to live her life freely.
The cause of happiness is that maybe the mother can prevent her daughter from making the same mistakes as she may have made.
The tragedy can be made into a comedy if the daughter can take these instructions and benefit from them.
Kincaid is said to have "unforgiving rage at both her mother and homeland". This is apparent in many of her works. I think that the rage she may have towards her mother and her homeland may be due to the fact that she is resentful because she felt she could never accomplish what she wanted to when she was in the prescence of both her mother and her homeland. They both put rules and restrictions on how they believed she should act and the way she should carry out her life. She also said "Everything passes through the self". I belive that her resentment with her mother and homeland have passed through her, in regards to her mind, and on to her writing.
Jamaica Kincaid - "Girls"
Elaine Potter Richardson (a.k.a. Jamaica Kincaid) was born in the British colony of Antigua in 1949. She was the only child of her family until she was nine years old, when her first brother was born. In that culture, men were more important than women, so she was sent to America to make money to send her brothers to college. Her anger toward her mother and her birth country is evident in this story.
"this is how to bully a man; this is how a man bullies you; this is how to love a man, and if this doesn't work there are other ways, and if they don't work don't feel too bad about giving up"
I like this passage because it contains some of the how-to dialogue, but it also has something deeper. "To bully a man" could also be how to stand up for yourself around others. This wording seems strange to me - why would a woman bully a man if the men are the most important people? In this culture, why would a woman risk offending or angering a man, who could do unspeakable things to her and probably get away with it? It almost seems like the mother is telling her to stand up for herself, but later in the passage, she tells her it is ok to give up. I think the mother telling her child it's ok to give up is a major point. She is telling her child to resolve herself to her place in the world and her life, because they will never change. The conservativeness of the forties intensifies the situation. People are not supposed to be different. They are not supposed to think, or say, or do outside the box of normal society. Change is bad and by standing up to a man, or saying what you think, or doing something you shouldn't, you are going against society, your family, and your heritage.
The oppression felt by the young girl is obvious in the story, but it doesn't just feel like a personal oppression. Yes, her mother is being demanding and harsh, but think about why. It is the culture pushing down on the women, figuratively (and maybe literally) beating them into submission, reducing them to servants in their own country. It goes even farther, because the culture was influenced by the oppression of the colony by the mother country, England. Whenever someone is in power, all others must serve their interests or be eliminated. Politically, culturally, and personally this is true in the story. She needs to secure her place in society. Her mother knows this, and is trying to help, in the only way she can.
The element of tragedy in this story is the sadness the reader feels for the child being pushed into her place by an oppressive mother. She has no choice in her place, and no other options. The tragedy could be turned into a comedy, or at least have a happier ending, if the child grew up into her place and married a man who allowed her to be a person instead of a servant. She could live how she wanted and be happy, but still be oppressed by the world. The comedy in this story is that we know already from her biography that Jamaica Kincaid was able to escape her doomed life and become a successful writer.
We were also asked to link her unforgiving rage at her mother and homeland with a quote: “For me, everything passes through the self.” This is another example of how she has escaped. She is doing and thinking for herself, so everything she does comes from herself, not the commonly accepted idea of what should be done.
Jamaica Kincaid - "Girl"
Kincaid was born in Antigua. At the age of seventeen she came to America to work as an au pair but left that postion to live in New York and worked for the Village Voice and Ingenue. She was an only child until she was nine years old and because of her longing for maternal love, many of her stories are inspired by their mother-daughter relationship. She was born Elaine Potter Richardson but in 1973 she changed her name to Jamacia Kincaid.
The story "Girl" is basically a whole list of "how to's." It is also one long sentence of the mother telling the girl how she should live, act, and think. Although girl seems to try to stand up for herself, or just to speak on her behalf, her voice just disappears and it seems she just gives up. When I first read this story, all I could hear was someone nagging in my ear. It really made me feel angry. I can just imagine how Kincaid felt as a child growing up. It is like the mother is oppressing Girl's idenity. I understand how people say they are doing it for their best intrest, but if all you hear is what to do, what not to do, how to do it, how not to do it,can really make you feel empty and useless inside. In this case, Kincaid felt resentment aginst her mother.
"Everything passes through the self" This refers to me that every decision and action that Kincaid makes, is her own. She has total control of her life.
Author: Jamaica Kincaid
Title: "Girl"
Kincaid was born in 1949. She was the only child until she was nine years old. After her brother was born her relationship with her mother fell apart.
To me Kincaid is very outspoken and would never be silent but in the short story "Girl", Kincaid is an adolescent trying to respect her mother so she doesn't say anything. Her mother is giving her a list of how to behave when she gets older. This leads to the unforgiving rage at her mother because she tries to control her and make her be someone she's not. Her unforgiving rage toward her home land deals with her not being able to be what she whats to be.
The quote "Everything passes through the self", means to me that everyone has their own choice. Everyone makes their own decision.
Title: Girl
Author: Jamaica Kincaid
Originally Elaine Richardson, the author was born in Antigua, an English colony. When she was young, she was sent away to America to make money to send back to the family so that her brothers could go to college. This angered her and she never sent back money to her family. Her anger was motivation for many of her works.
Basic Passage: "you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won't let near the bread?" This entire story has been a how to of things that a lady should learn as she grows up. However, there is an obvious condescending feel to the story. The mother is convinced that her child is going to be a 'slut' no matter what, but it is her duty as a mother to go through the motions of raising her so that when she does turn out badly, the mother can say that she did everything she was supposed to do.
I would say that this is a good story for religious people to read. It seems sometimes as if the Church does like the mother. It teaches the rules, and the how to's (murder is wrong, don't lie...) but has been known to forget the attitude that is supposed to be the foundation of our belief (Love your neighbor). It also seems as if the Church can be too condescending to non-believers, saying that people will turn out bad (or go to Hell) no matter what. Now, before I am called blasphemous, let me put in this disclaimer: I believe religion is a good thing and am a practicing Christian (big C, not little). My point is not to say that the Church is bad or anything, but that we Christians need to be conscious of not acquiring the mother's attitude.
The cause of human suffering is the mother's attitude that her daughter is going to wind up bad no matter what.
The tragedy could be turned into a comedy if the mother was more loving and if the daughter accepted the love and turned out to be a good lady.
Jamaica Kincaid
Girl
Born in 1949, Elaine Potter Richardson was a first and only child until she was the age of 9. She grew up in Antigua and forced to move to America and work for her family. While working there she was discovered as a writer and worked for the New Yorker. She never sends money to her family and eventually changes her name to Jamaica Kincaid.
I really thought the lines where her mother tells her that she is going to become a slut. The fact that Kincaid bothered to include this in what seems to be a huge list of things a girl should know, shows that she has resentment towards her mother. I know if my mom drilled things like this into me and told me that I was on my way to becoming a sexual pervert or something I might get a little offended too.
The tragedy is that she resents her mother. When I noticed that the story was one continuous sentence I immediately thought that her mother must have always been telling her things like this; like a never ending sentence.
The comedy would be maybe if even though her mother told her these things she still in the end loved her and Kincaid in turn took these as important life lessons and still loved her mother.
It seems that the Kincaid has a lot of pent up anger towards her mother the culture that made her like that. What she has to understand is that is the way her mother probably grew up. Thats probably all shes ever known and is just trying to teach her children the best she can. We have to learn as people to take advice when its given whether it be right or wrong is your decision.
Jamaica Kincaid-"Girl"
Jamaica was born in 1949 on the Caribbean island of Antigua. At the age of seventeen she came to America so that she could work and send money back to her mother for her brothers to go to college. Her mother was very controlling from which the story "Girl" came about.
"on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the slut you are so bent on becoming"
This passage is repeated over and over again in this story. It definately shows some type of significance. Honestly i think parents need to be telling there daughters this more these days. It seems like more and more girls dress with less and less clothing its crazy.
I think the tragedy of this story is that the girl is being told so much too do and that this is more then likely based on a even in Jamacia Kincaids life. This could be turned into a comedy if the girl just wasnt told so much to do.
As far as the correlation between her unforgiving rage at both her mother and homeland
and "Everything passes through the self." I think that her unforgiving rage at her mother lead her to want to do things her own way and not have to rely on someone helping her. I think that the fact that she felt as if she was almost nothing in her mothers eyes lead her to pursue her own goals and needs
Girl
Jamaica Kincaid
Jamaica Kincaid, born Elaine Porter Richardson, is a native of the island of Antigua in the Caribbean. The society in which she was raised was very patriarchal with women taking a back seat to the men in terms of importance. She was sent to the United States to earn money to send back to her family so that her brothers could go to college. She came to America and never returned to her homeland and never sent any money back to her family. She got a job as a writer for the New Yorker.
“always squeeze bread to make sure it's fresh; but what if the baker won't let me feel the bread?; you mean to say that after all you are really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won't let near the bread?”
Man, Jamaica can’t get a break from her mother. She sounds like she is trying to please her mom but she just will not have it. Through out the story the few times that Jamaica does chime in with a comment or question she is either ignored or the statement is used by her mother as evidence that she is becoming a slovenly woman. Jamaica’s mother just takes the well meaning Jamaica’s words out of context- especially in the above passage. Jamaica’s mom could have just said something kind like, “Oh, a sweet and lovely girl like you need not worry about the baker letting her squeeze the bread!” But I suppose that the statement really just reveals the mother’s true feelings toward her daughter. Why she is like that I don’t know. Are all little girls talked to this way in Antigua? I don’t know. Maybe Jamaica’s mom was treated this way by her mom and it’s the only way she known’s how to treat a daughter and who knows what Jamaica’s grandmother’s problem was.
Jamaica Kinkaid’s unforgivingness and her rage towards her family, namely her mother, are well known. Jamaica once made a statement about everything passing through her self. Psychology can tell you that people who are unyieldingly unforgiving and have hatred and bitterness towards others are very concerned with their self. A self-centered person only thinks about how they themselves have been harmed, not considering what has happened to another individual. In Jamaica’s case it sounds like her mom treated her terribly and I am certain she was hurt. But Jamaica could have said, “You know I hate the way my mother treats me but she is like that for a reason, she didn’t just decide to be that way one day. I am going to forgive her and do my best to love her regardless of how she treats me be because I am sure she has been hurt herself and been through a lot of pain." If Jamaica can get her thoughts off of her self and on to someone else I feel she would be greatly helped. Even though she has said she is in no way interested in the pursuit of happiness all of us no that happiness is infinitely better than a life of self-centered misery.
Jamaica Kincaid- "Girl"
Jamaica was born in 1949 as Elaine Potter Richardson in the Caribbean island of Antigua. She now teaches and writes in Bennington, Vermont. After leaving the island, Jamaica has not been back nor has she sent money back to her family.
After reading the story, I noticed the phrase "this is how to..." was used over and over again. I felt this was significant because the author has an unforgiving rage toward her mother and homeland. Being an only child until the age of 9, the author received a lot of her mother's attention and love. After the birth of her brother, Kincaid felt neglected and felt a need to gain her mother's love and attention. Throughtout the story, there is an adult voice over-powering a young child's voice by telling the child the right way to do several things. In Kincaid's mind, things should be done in a way that are most true to one's self and not by following orders of another. This is difficult at times to do. Thinking about times when my parents asked me to do something so obsurred (in my mind), and I have wanted to object to them. But in the end, I have respect and love for my parents, that I do them anyway.
On the flip side of that, I believe no one truly learns a lesson unless experienced by oneself. My parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, etc. can tell me how to do something "their way" and regardless of the respect I have for them, I could continually make the same mistake unless I experience it for myself.
The phrase: 'Everything passes through the self' has two conditions in my mind. Yes, everything does pass through the self. However, it's how you respond that matters. Using Kincaid as an example, her unforgiving rage towards her mother is something she feels everyday because it is 'passing through the self.' Now Kincaid has to actually let the rage "pass through the self", by forgiveness, expression through her writings, etc.
“Girl” by: Jamaica Kincaid
Kincaid lived with her parents until 1965. In Antigua, she completed her secondary education under the British system, due to Antigua's status as a British colony until 1967. She came to New York at the age of 17 to work for a family as an au pair. She went on to study photography at the New School for Social Research after leaving the family for which she worked, and also attended Franconia College in New Hampshire for a year. In 1973 she changed her name from Elaine Potter Richardson to Jamaica Kincaid - partly so that the people of Antigua wouldn't know she was writing.
In Girl, a mother gives advice to her young daughter about many different issues in life. The mother shows love and family togetherness by educating her daughter with her beliefs and experiences that she's encountered throughout her life. The mother blatantly tells her daughter things she must do and not do in order not to be called a "slut." There are many things a young girl must learn when she begins to mature. What better teacher is there than a mother? A mother-daughter relationship is one that is very important and is priceless. There are times that I hate the things my mother tells me, but I love her. I really began to realize the important role my mother has played in my life when she was diagnosed with cancer in December. Shortly after that my aunt past from breast cancer. I sat down one day and really began to analyze what would my life have been like without my mother. I believe God makes no mistake when he gives certain people children.
Tragedy or Comedy? I think both. Why? For someone who hates being told what to do. Or maybe even if they hate not being told the truth you could consider this poem as a tragedy. But at the same time there are people that need extra guidance and cant think for themselves a mother like this would be perfect.
Everything passes through the self and her rage and resentment to me shows a lot. I think her internal rage against these objects allowed her to think her life through. Yes she was sent to America to help take care of her family but through a lot of self thought it turned out to work in her favor. Kincaid probably wouldn’t have been allowed the opportunity in Antigua that she was allowed because of her gender. Now the opportunity allowed and the anger inside of her gave her work theme and meaning. Her works all center on this rage and anger she had for her homeland and her mother.
"Girl"
Jamaica Kincaid
Jamaica Kincaid, which has not been her name from birth, was born in the British colony of Antigua. She was raised as an only child until the age of nine when a brother was born. At this point in Jamaica's life, she began to grow bitter towards her family and her culture for valuing her male sibling far above herself. She was sent to America to help provide for her family, but when she arrived she refused to send any money home and set out to make her own life in New York.
In her short story, "Girl", Jamaica reveals a type of dialog that probably would have been true to life for not only her, but for many other young women in her culture. There is a stern list of do's and don'ts that become very overpowering. Kincaid very effectively shows the receiver of these teachings responding with a very weak, small voice which is in one instance ignored and in another criticized. The list of instructions are in an attempt to show the girl how to live in compliance to the accepted culture, but we also see the low expectations that are already automatically placed on the girl. In effect, through the instructors tone and words, the girl is already expected to fail before she even begins.
Kincaid personally has expressed unrelentless unforgiveness towards her mother for her cruel and poorly nurtured upbringing. On one occasion she said that "Everything passes through the self". In her situation with her mother, the hurt that she experienced passed through her and caused a lot of damage. However, I believe that a person has the choice to move on or to live in bitterness. I will admit up front that my mother did not leave emotional scars and I do not hate either of my parents, so I will not dare say that I understand how she feels. However, somewhere we have to draw the line to how much power outsiders have over us. If terrible things happen, and they inevitably do, and they pass through the self, then we have the control to filter and change what will leave our selves after it passed through.
Jamaica Kincaid- "Girl"
Kincaid was born Elaine Potter Ricardson in 1949, she lived in Antigua, and was an only child until the age of nine. Being an only child allowed her a close relationship with her mother but that would fade over time. She moved to Vermont at 17 where she began to write and still lives there today. It is apperant in her writting that she is not fond of her mother.
Kincaids "Girl" screams hatred towards her mother, since the whole story is a list of the things a mother would teach. It is obvious that there is a strong resentment and in reading the story ther are several references to her mother calling her a "slut" so there is no mystery in why there is a strong sence of loating. I cannot relate to her writing in that sence but I do understand what it is like to be told how to do things. This is not nessasarily a bad thing. Growing up everyone has to be taught how to do things, we are not born with the knowledge of how the world works, and though as a child it seems like our mothers are trying to control us, she may actually only be trying to inform, or teach us. I do not know the extent of Kincaids resentment towards her mother, but i can understand why she would be so hateful in the case of being called a slut. I couldn't imagine how I would feel if my mother had no more faith in me than that. I do however agree that everything passes through the self. Every person is an individual. We all have different points of veiw and no matter how one person veiws the world there may not be a single one that sees it the same way. It all depends on interpretation. We can be taught how to do something, and we can be told that that way is the right way, but eventually you will find youur own way of doing it, maybe a way that is easier for you or makes more since in your mind. It doesn't mean that your way is the wrong way, it is only different.
Title: "Girl"
Author: Jamaica Kincaid
Jamaica Kincaid was born in Antigua. In some of the stories that she writes, she talks about a longing for a maternal love. She was the only child for nine years. Then her baby brother was born and her mother didn't pay her as much attention as she did before her brother was born. So this caused her to not like her mom that much. At the age of seventeen her parents sent her to America so that she could make money to send back home so her brother could go to school. Well she never sent money and she never went back home either. While she was in America she got her big break. She was found by an editor of the "New Yorker."
Basic Passage: "...this is how you smile to someone you don't like too much; this is how you smile to someone you don't like at all; this is how you smile to someone you like completely;..."
Correlate: This story is a story about "how to's". In this I mean the mother is telling her daughter how to act so that she won't become a "slut". Well in the passage that I picked, she really isn't talking about her becoming a "slut", she is really talking about how she should act around others. She tells her daughter to smile to the people that she likes, that she doesn't know, and the people that she doesn't like at all. It seems to me that she wants her daughter to be nice to everyone even if she is being fake. I can relate to this, because I used to work at Winn Dixie. I would have to deal with customers that I liked and the ones that I didn't like all day and I would have to put a smile on my face no matter what, because my job depended on it.
Tragedy: This story is a tragedy, because the mother thinks that her daughter is going to turn into a "slut". She wouldn't let her daughter live her own life. This maked the daughter not like her mother.
Comedy: This story could be a comedy if the mother would back off the daughter some. So the daugher would look up to her mother and not be mad with her. Also so they could be friends.
Kincaid writes a lot about how she did not have a good relationship with her mother after her brother was born. She talks about her unforgiving rage at both her mother and her homeland. She takes her anger out on both her mother and her homeland, because she relates them two together. Kincaid states that "Everything passes through the self." In this I think she is saying that whatever her mother and the world tells her, she just lets it go in one ear and out the other. She tries to not let it bother her, but the whole thing with her mother just stuck with her and she never got over it.
Daniel Wise Said This about Chiante's post. YES THERE IS A LOT OF STRUGGLES WHICH GO ON BETWEEN MOTHERS AND DAUGHTERS. BUT TOUGH LOVE IS ALWAYS ONE OF THEM ITS TO BAD I NEVER HAD A SIUTER TO DEAL WITH, BUT I HAD SEVERAL OLDER FEMALE COUSINS AND YOUNGER FEMALE COUSINS WHICHY I HAD TO LISTEN TO WHEN THEY TALKED TO THEIR MOTHERS. . AND TOUGH LOVE STRENGTHENS THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A MOTHER AND HER DAUGHTER, LIKE WHEN ADAUGHTER REFUSES TO OBEY ORDERS OR STAY AOUT LATE FOR CURFEW. BUT AN ILLNESS IN A RELATIONSHIP SUCH AS CANCER CAN BE A BIG CAUSE OF PRESSURE IN A RELATIONSHIP. MY YOUNGER COUSIN HILLARY SUFFERED KEMO THERAPY AND CANCER AND IS DOING WELL AND LIVE S IN GEORGIA. BUT WHEN IT HAPPENED IT CAUSED A LOT OF FAMILY POROBLEMS FOR HILLARY AND FOR HER MOTHER TO DEAl with as well as her father was there for support. In this story yiou see the same effect a strong loving relationship and an illness which causes tragedy and death.
I am commenting on Daniel Wise's comment. First, struggle can create a stronger relationship, but at the same time it can tear people apart. A tragedy within a relationship can certainly create a longer lasting, strong relationship, but arguing within a relationship normally causes problems. Even if it is just bossiness and not arguing, people tend to get tired of people telling them what to do. I mean I get sick of my family members telling me what to do all the time because I am the youngest. Like I said in my first comment, I think it is better to allow others to experience things. It is good to give advice and warn someone about something but let others explore the world and create their own image.
I think everyone has about the same ideas about this story. Struggle, Hate, Love, Resentment, Stubbornness, all good points of discussion. I do like vcguitarist's point of view, and I certainly agree with it from time to time. I like it because it's different than most of the others. I wish they had gone into more detail and continued the connection with today's society.
I am commenting on Brook's post. She said "Kincaid possesses this unforgiving rage...that some of us may possess sometime in our life. We could always possess it, or never, or just sometimes." This is definitely untrue. If you have rage like Jamaica Kincaid has towards her mother, it doesn't just come & go. It is either there or not, not just sometimes. You cannot let go of the disappointment, pain, & anger that comes along with having rage like this. One can however work through it and move on, which Kincaid obviously has not done & doesn't appear to be attempting to do.
I am commenting on Brook's post. I agree that we all have the potential for friction with our parents. I also agree that we should live lives on our own account but we should also be able to take good advice especially from our elders who have had the experience. There is a way for parents to give advice without sounding like they are giving orders. My mother does an excellent job of this by offering me advice but ultimately letting me make my own decision even though she may not agree with it. Usually parents have good intentions and more often we can benefit than not. I also agree that Kincaid is about not being "fake" and does not "sugar-coat" her writing. If more people did there might not be as many trust issues in society.
I would like to comment on the five who have already commented on others. As a 38 year old Mother of an 18 year old son, I have some of the benefits of time and experience to comment with. Although my Mother has felt, and continues to feel, that the things I, my older brother, and younger sister do are her fault, which I am helping her with, I know that while she and my Father raised me, at a certain point everything I did was my choice and decision. I knew all that I had been taught and made some stupid decisions anyway; I had to learn myself despite what my Mother had told me or was telling me. I can look back and see the wisdom of her ways and can see I was wrong and I was right in my choices. I always said that things my Mother did that annoyed me I would never do, I do them, and I am like her, and I accept that, now, with joy! She has been my best friend for many years now now that I have matured, although it was not always that way.
I am commenting on knw501's response. I agree with what this person said about how people say they are telling us how to live our lives because they are doing it in our best interest. But how do they know what is best for us? Every person is diferent in his/her own way. It's ok when people give us their opinion on a situation that we are going through as long as we ask for it, but it's not cool when they get up in our business when they should just let us work out our own problems. How will we ever learn how to be independent if we always have someone standing over our shoulders telling us what to do?
I agree with maggaly0326. I think the reason for her rage towards her mother is because she abondened her for her brothers. She sent her away to work and send money back to home for her brother, so I think that is the reason she writes the way she does.
I am commenting on TayTay's response. I agree that no one can truly learn a lesson unless experienced. You can be told over and over again, but actions speak louder than words. I think that is the best way to learn something is to learn it from yourself.
I am commenting on knw501's response. I too can almost hear the nagging in my mind. I completely agree with her statment that because of the how to's and the how not to's it definately can make you feel empty.
I am commenting on Sasuke's post. I agree when you say that parents nagging on the children about things they should do can make a person lose their childhood early. I was like this. Having an older brother who always did everything right, made my parents expect me to live up to the same standards. It was tough love but unlike Kincaid I don't resent my parents one but because I chose to live my life the best I know how and took their advice that I found helpful and just smiled and nodded when they told me things I didn't like.
musicman said "We have to learn as people to take advice when its given whether it be right or wrong"
I agree. it is important to not be so arrogant that you must do it your way no matter what. Someone may give you advice- it could be good advice but it also might not be so good... especially for your situation. A wise person will at least contemplate a piece of advice and if it is not for you disregard it, it is not for you. Every person on the face of this earth could use advice in some area. We must heed the advice of those who have been places we have not. You will find that many of the most successful people in this world have gotten where they are with the help of another or several others who had more knowledge.
I am commenting on Brook's response. Brook said, "I think it is better to allow others to experience things. It is good to give advice and warn someone about something but let others explore the world and create their own image." I agree with this a lot. When people seek advice, they aren't going to do exactly what you told them. They will simply take what you said to heart, hopefully, and use that to help with their problem. I think that letting someone explore the world and create their own images is a great concept. I love to do things differently. I will take risks and fall, fall hard, but atleast I tried. I learned something new about myself by taking that risk.
I agree with what Rachel Nicholson said. There was definitely a low expectation for the Girl in this story and in my opinion, the stern lists of do's and don'ts serves the purpose of fulfilling those low expectations. If a child is told she will be a slut everyday, it becomes a huge obstacle to overcome. It also becomes motivation to do well in life, but the attitude acquired in such motivation can quickly become rage as the girl learns "how to hold a grudge."
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